you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
my poor anus
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
