READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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