$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
