so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
