I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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