so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
