is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
