This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
