I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
