you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
