do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
