ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The air was thick with penises
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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