I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This is the high leading the old right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
