dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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