We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
