Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
