No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So squirting runs in the family.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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