Me too!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
