Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize