yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
