so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
