operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
