you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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