I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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