they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
