Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I look better un-naked...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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