Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
