i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
