did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
