We're facebook friends in real life
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
