Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
