I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
