It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
