So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
