The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
