I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
