I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
