I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
