and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
