So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
