Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
