I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
