you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
