How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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