so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
