I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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