Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
