I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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