Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
