Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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