Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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