thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
are you still at the devil's house?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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