drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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