He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
